If you’ve decided to move in with your partner, congratulations! It’s a big step in any relationship, and one that’s sure to give you greater insight into yourself, your partner, and how you interact. At this stage, you may be looking to choose where to live. Will your partner move in with you or will you move in with them? Will you look for somewhere brand new so that you can start this new chapter fresh?
My fiancé and I went through this stage last year and it involved a lot of thought and conversations. Today’s post will share some insight as to things to consider when making this important step.
Start With the Big Picture
What does your ideal situation look like? Are you discovering a new place and neighbourhood with your partner or revisiting your familiar hangouts? Are you unpacking moving boxes together and making joint decisions on how to decorate and set up your space or are you making smaller changes to adapt one space for two people?
For me, at the beginning of this process, I was strongly leaning towards finding a new place for the two of us. My reasoning? It would mark a new chapter, let us create a new home that was uniquely ours, and equalize the hassle of moving. I also thought that moving in to his place may feel like a bit of an imposition. While I knew he would make every effort to make me feel at home, I wasn’t sure it would feel like a shared space.
On the flip side, moving in with your partner or having them move in with you can make for an easier transition logistically since at least one of you is familiar with the place. Moving one person instead of two can be faster and more efficient, and there’s no need to look for a new home or apartment.
Once you’ve decided which approach you prefer, start thinking through the logistics.
If you’ve decided to look for a new place together, great! Sit down with your partner and discuss your must-haves and nice-to-haves. Decide on a budget, ideal areas or neighbourhoods, and features or amenities. Find a realtor and start the process of viewing places in your ideal area. Assuming you’ll be renting, the process can be pretty quick and efficient.
If you’ve decided that one of you will move in with the other, that’s great too! If it’s not immediately clear who will move in with whom, put pen to paper to consider your options. Make a list of what’s most important to each of you (things like proximity to work, price, amenities like a gym in the building) and look at how each of your places delivers on them. From there, you can assess and choose your best option.
Even the best laid plans can be upended, and it’s critical to have an open mind and a flexible outlook.
In my situation, we had decided to find a new place together and each gave our landlords notice that we’d be moving out. We looked at a bunch of condos, but quickly found selection to be pretty slim and eventually decided that I’d move in with him. His condo was closer to work for both of us and had a layout more conducive to two people, so it was a pretty easy choice.
Because we had already given notice, it ended up being a mad dash to get to his landlord with the request to stay before the condo was rented to someone else. It also led to a small bump in rent since the landlord had advertised his condo at a higher rate and was foregoing that to let us stay.
While not ideal, we tried to be flexible and recognized that every situation has compromises. We weren’t getting the fresh start I was hoping for in a new place, but it still felt like an exciting new chapter. While the condo itself wasn’t new to us, we did some decorating to make it feel refreshed. It wasn’t a new neighbourhood, but we were familiar with it which made it easier to run errands and find our way around.
Whichever path you take, moving in with your partner is an exciting step. Best of luck and leave me a comment below with how you make your living arrangement decision!